Relief

It is of course very unprofessional of me as a blogger to leave here untouched for almost another month now. Luckily we have 29 days for February this year and I get to catch the last train.

So what’s new? Plenty! This February has been such an eventful. Both my professional life and my personal life have added such strong flavour to my life. It was bitter, spicy and sour. I have been stressed into such an extent that I practically hated everything. And now I know why. I have so many expectations on so many things and when the bubbles burst I apparently can’t take it too well.

So the last bubble burst this morning. It was such a usual stressful morning and I was trying so hard to fill up my thesis. I was just moaning my less ideal life to a friend of mine and I realised that the last bubble just burst leaving no trace behind as if it was never there. There I was. Setting there finding all the expectations I had became past memory with only a pile of ‘what if..’ left. I thought I would be sad and pessimistic again like I always do. 

But I didn’t, surprisingly. I felt a relief, a long over due relief. Maybe with all the expectations gone, I felt that I then couldn’t get disappointed or upset by them anymore. So the burdens that I have been dragging along just faded into thin air. 

What bubbles did I have? I will tell one day. For now, I just feel great, calm and full of energy for the cleaning tomorrow in the local hospital. We are going to have a clean ward.